Depression Lies

Depression lies.

I read that in a The Bloggess yesterday and it really struck me. It struck me because it's the truth. Depression does lie.

Depression will tell you your husband doesn't care about you anymore because when you said you weren't feeling well, all he said was, "ok". Depression will tell you that your baby girl doesn't love you, because she currently prefers the company of her daddy. Depression will tell you that you can't talk to your friends about the way you're feeling because they will judge you as being a bad mom. Depression will tell you, you can't talk to your mom, because she raised three kids on a lot less, with a lot less support and did just fine. Depression will tell you, you can't call your sister because complaining about having a kid to a woman who can't have kids is insensitive.

Depression lies.

Depression will tell you all your dreams are coming true so you have no right to complain or feel sad. Depression will tell you that everyone will find you repugnant for not appreciating the very blessed life you live. Depression will tell you that running away is the answer, no one will care or notice until they're inconvenienced.

Depression lies.

I am familiar with the lies Depression tells. This is not the first time I've heard them. The first time I drowned the lies out with liquor. Thankfully, I had a good friend who looked out for me and made sure I always made it home safe and in my own bed. That time I did run away. I ran to Montana, then to North Carolina. I spent a long time running.

The second time I tried to suppress the lies with food. The additional 80 lbs I carry is testament that I still struggle with this addiction. I'm currently staring at a box of a dozen frosted cookies, like an alcoholic stares at a bottle of vodka. Depression tells  you that one more drink will make you forget. Depression tells you one more cookie won't make a difference. Depression tells you that even if you do become a drunk mess or a 500 lb slob, nobody will notice or care.

Depression lies.

Depression tells you that the last time you ran away it worked, you got better. Never mind the people you left behind. Depression will tell you your family is better off without you.

Depression lies.

I refuse to believe Depression's lies. I know my husband cares for me, even when he seems too busy to say or show it. I know my baby girl loves me, even though she prefers her daddy. I know my friends, family and loved ones will not judge me as a bad mom, no matter how ashamed I feel.

Even as I write this Depression tells me no one will read it and even if they do, they won't care.

But Depression lies.

Nove Bites: Shrimp Pesto Fettuccini

Welcome back! I'm so happy you could make it for the second installment of Novel Bites. Today we're going with savory. I'm sure by now you've read all the romantic stories in Whispered Beginnings: A Clever Fiction Anthology and are ready for a date night with your significant other. Nothing says, "I love you" more than a pasta dish a la Lady and the Tramp. But instead of messing with messy meatballs, I thought I'd take you to the ocean with a little Shrimp Pesto Fettuccini. Besides that is the setting for my short story, New Beginnings.

Before we get to the recipe here's a little bite of the story. This will be the last nibble. After all, it is a short story and if you read the bite accompanying  Cherried AwayBrownie Sundae you will have read a quarter of the story. I can't give it all away, you'll have to buy the book. :o)

A Bite of New Beginnings:

Myra walked the grassy path, tears streaming down her face. He had to come home, there was no other option. A life without him was not a life at all, but an empty existence; like a flower bud without the chance to blossom.

Looking to the waves she screamed out his name and fell to her knees. “Please,” she whimpered, “please don’t leave me.” She pulled at her hair, releasing another scream to the sky, before grabbing her chest.

Her heart slammed inside of her, the pain so intense it traveled down her left arm. Wilting into the grass she smiled, now the physical pain matched her emotional ache and the darkness surrounding her matched the emptiness that once was her soul.

I understand without the rest of the story that "bite" doesn't seem very romantic, but trust me you'll want to read the rest. Once you read the rest you'll want to hold on to your loved one and never let 'em go. Now, dry your tears, don your sexiest apron and let's get to cooking, cause we all know the faster you finish the meal, the sooner you get to dessert. ;o)

Shrimp Pesto Fettuccini

Ingredients:

1/2 box or bag of Fettuccini

2 Tspn olive oil

1 pint of cherry tomatoes

2 t or 2 cloves of garlic

Red Pepper flakes

1/2 cup white wine (I used Pinot Grigio)

1 bunch asparagus

1 lb raw, deveined, de-tailed shrimp (you can use frozen)

1/2 cup Pesto (I used the one with basil)

Shredded Parmesan Cheese (optional)

1. Fix Fettuccini per instructions on package. If using frozen shrimp (like I do, because I live in Oklahoma and don't trust "fresh" shrimp) follow the defrosting instructions on the bag.

2. Place an empty deep skillet on medium heat.

3. Cut the cherry tomatoes in half

4. Pour olive oil into skillet, then add tomatoes. If the oil pops too much, remove from heat while adding the tomatoes. You're not going for crispy here so adding the tomatoes to a sizzling skillet is not necessary. Add salt and pepper.

5. Add your garlic. If you like a lot of garlic you can add more, but I wouldn't go past 3 cloves or teaspoons.

6. Add a few dashes of red pepper flakes. Again, if you like your food spicy you can add more. I'm looking for just a hint of heat so I only added a couple of shakes.

7. Take out a wine glass, pour yourself a glass of the white wine, then add 1/2 a cup to the tomato garlic sauce.

8. Smush (yes that's a culinary term) the tomatoes with a fork.

9. Cut the ends off the asparagus (they can be very fibrous) then chop the rest of the asparagus in diagonal 1/2 inch pieces. You don't have to measure, just think "bite-sized". Not a huge fan of asparagus, use only half the bunch. We like it so I used the whole bunch.

10. Add asparagus to mixture. Let simmer until asparagus is almost done, soft but not limp, roughly 5 to 7 minutes. Stirring occasionally. If you feel your sauce is reducing too much, add just a bit more white wine to your wine glass, then to your sauce.

11. When asparagus is just about finished add the shrimp. Then salt and pepper once more.

12. Add 1/2 cup of pesto. Now you can make your own pesto, it's very easy, but I really like the Buitoni brand so I make it easy on myself and buy it premade. You can find it in the deli refrigerated section at your local supermarket. I got mine at Food Pyramid, but I have also bought it at United.

13. Stir occasionally until shrimp turn from translucent to pink, roughly 5 to 7 minutes. It is easy to overcook shrimp, but just keep an eye on it and you'll do fine.

14. Your fettuccini should be done by now (give it a little taste), strain and place in bowl.

15. Pour your Shrimp Basil sauce over the top and toss.

16. Feel free to add some shredded Parmesan for some cheesy effect.

Now you and your loved one can eat from the same bowl, doing the whole same fettuccini to lips kiss a la Lady and the Tramp as previously mentioned or you can serve in two different bowls. Your choice. Bon Appetit!

Like what you've read, but don't have your own copy of Whispered Beginnings? Go to www.annaslegacy.com  and when you purchase your copy I'll donate 10% of every book sale to St. Jude's Research hospital.

Or you can go to http://www.melissamaygrove.blogspot.com/ and win yourself a copy. Contest is open until Monday, May 29th.

Clever Fiction: Blown Away

My brand spankin' new short story, Blown Away, is now up ~ http://www.cleverfiction.com/31/post/2012/05/blown-away.html

My First Author Interview

The fantastic Melissa Maygrove gave me my first author interview. Hope on over there and check it out, you could win a copy of Whispered Beginnings.

Click here for the interview and your chance to win: http://www.melissamaygrove.blogspot.com/2012/05/author-jennifer-mcmurrain-new.html#comment-form

Fragments

Surrounded by the kaleidoscope of colors she laughed.  A swirl of green grass, blue skies and playground equipment created a blur that brought back fragmented memories of her mother.  Closing her eyes, she prayed the merry-go-round would transfer her to a happier time; when she could once again crawl in her mother's arms and know everything would be alright.

Novel Bites: Cherried Away Brownie Sundae

Welcome to the first installment of Novel Bites, where I give you a tasty nugget of food to go with your tasty nugget of writing. My recipes are all user friendly, think Semi-Homemade meets Giada at Home. I'm a working (yes, writing is work, those stories don't write, edit and sell themselves, you know), stay-at-home Mom so I understand the need for uncomplicated, tasty food. I'm still working on the format for the recipes and would love any hear any comments and suggestions you might have in order to make it more user friendly. So here we go!

An excerpt from my short story, New Beginnings, a story of a love so deep, it overcomes all obstacles, including death. Now available in Whispered Beginnings: A Clever Fiction Anthology (www.annaslegacy.com).

Myra loved the smell of spring off the ocean. It always had a hint of lilac and whispered of new beginnings. But this was not a spring of new beginnings. She did not want a new beginning. She wanted him. She wanted Derek.

She watched the waves crash into the rocks, the rhythm matching the throbs in her chest.  Her eyes moved to the vast horizon of water. Was he still out there? Could he still be alive? Maybe marooned on a small island or hurt on a foreign ship? It would take the death of hope to accept he was never coming home.

I know, kind of a tease of an excerpt, but hey it's a short story. I can't give it all away. Besides this is called Novel Bites, not Novel Glutton. :o)

In order to celebrate the release of Whispered Beginnings, I have made a very special dessert for you. Whispered Beginnings is an anthology of stories dealing with romance and relationships. Who doesn't love to get carried away into a story full of love and hope? AND who doesn't love some chocolate to make those stories just a little more euphoric? So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

Cherried Away Brownie Sundae

Ingredients:

1 pouch Fudge Brownie mix (any brand, you're gonna spruce it up)

Ingredients on the back of your brown mix (mine needed 1/3 cup oil, 2 Tbsp water and 1 egg)

2 can of cherry pie filling

1/2 gallon of vanilla ice cream (I have a gallon there, just in case I get hungry while cooking)

1/3 cup of heavy whipping cream

1 bag of milk chocolate chips

We're going to do this in 4 steps. It may seem time consuming, but most of your time is waiting for stuff to cool and freeze, so you can do other things in-between and if you have kids, you'll get interrupted anyway.

Step 1: Make the cherry brownies

Preheat oven to 350

Grease 8x8 pan (I love Baker's Joy and highly recommend it, but you can use Pam, butter, Crisco, whatever your Momma used)

Follow recipe on brownie pouch

Stir to mix

Add 1/2 cup of cherry pie filling (put the rest in the fridge you'll use it later)

Stir to mix

 

Pour into greased 8x8 pan

Cook at 350 for 25 to 30 minutes or until the toothpick comes out clean.

Let brownies cool completely. And by completely I mean until they are no longer warm, both on the sides and on the bottom. You don't want to melt your ice cream.

Step 2: Add the Ice Cream

Let your ice cream set out for about 10 minutes. You want it soft enough to spread, but not melted.

Spoon ice cream over completely cooled brownies.

Put in freezer for approximately 1 hour or until ice cream is firm again.

Step 3: Make the Chocolate Ganache

Before you go running to the hills Chocolate Ganache is super easy to make. Make it once and you'll wonder why you ever shied away from it in the first place.

Grab your double boiler. What you don't have a double boiler? That's ok, fill a sauce pan with water and then place a glass bowl over it, like this:

Viola a double boiler.

I have a double boiler so I'm just gonna use it. Fill the bottom pan with water and set to med-high heat. In the top pan (or glass bowl) dump the bag of milk chocolate chips.

Add 1/3 cup of heavy whipping cream

Now stir until it's all melted. It won't take too long.  Hey you just made Chocolate Ganache!!

Once it's melted pull away from heat (careful if you're using that glass bowl, don't forget your oven mitts) and let it set for just a minute. Again you don't want it to melt the ice cream, but if you let it set too long it won't spread.

Now spread Chocolate Ganache onto the ice cream and put the brownies back into the freezer for approximately half an hour.

Step 4: Dive In!!

Once the Chocolate Ganache has set, it's ready to serve. Now if your ganache was too warm when you put it over your ice cream you may have to wait a little longer. But if not, it's ready to serve.

Cut your brownies with a long, sharp, knife. You want to get through the ganache and brownie. Use a spatula to get it out of the pan.

Top with leftover cherry pie filling, little or a lot, your preference, that's why you have an extra can of cherry pie filling.

Now go grab your copy of Whispered Beginnings and dive into stories of love, while your mouth falls in love with this chocolate cherry splendor called Cherried Away Brownie Sundae.

What? You don't have a copy of Whispered Beginnings? Well, let me remedy that... if you buy your copy from www.annaslegacy.com, 10% will be donated to Anna's Legacy who are giving to St. Jude's this year. So you can eat your cake... err... brownie and support a worthy cause.

Enjoy!

www.annaslegacy.com

Giddy!!

This weekend I went to the Oklahoma Writer's Federation, Inc's annual conference. There were tons of great workshops and of course making new friends and catching up with old ones. Of course, as great as the workshops and networking is, we all wait nervously for Saturday night when they announce the winners of the the 33 contests, OWFI sponsors every year.

I am THRILLED to announce that I won 3rd Place in the Inspirational Category and 3rd Place in the Confession Story Category. There are so many wonderful writers at this conference, to place at all is an honor.

Complete with FairyTale Tiara