Monday, August 19, 2013

A Week of Cage Fighting


Anyone with a toddler knows what a struggle it is. They’re still teething, which makes them grumpy. They have to sit on this weird seat Mommy keeps calling a “potty”, which makes them grumpy. They have to eat their vegetables, help pick up, and not get to watch the Bubble Guppies all day, all of which makes them grumpy.

My girl had an extra grumpy week last week. Not a day went by that I wasn’t kicked, punched, bit, slapped and pinched, most of the time in public. She threw fits at the library, at the Mother’s Day Out meet and greet, at the store and numerous times in the car. These fits include throwing herself on the floor and screaming at the top of her lungs. I have tried the, “Get up or I’m leaving you” technique, but she calls my bluff, every time.

When I go to pick her up, she takes planking to a whole new level. Her ridged body would win her a gold medal at the planking Olympics. Once I get her hauled up, she starts the abuse. And yes, it is abuse. She, while screaming, proceeds to bite and hit me, while kicking. Of course, all I can do is get her out of the location as fast as possible.

Then once we get to the car, she goes ridged again, making it near impossible to strap her in the carseat, without totally manhandling her. In the process she gets nicked by my wedding ring, giving her a scratch on her arm and I feel like a total jerk.

Upon arriving home, she will still be mad and start throwing things, including but not limited to, food, toys, small pets and sippy cups. Which will result in a much overdue trip to timeout and a vow that she will never get to watch Bubble Guppies again. Lather. Rise. Repeat. Every day of the week.

By the end of the week, Mommy feels like she’s gone three rounds with a world champion Ultimate Fighter and the Bubble Guppies will run throughout the weekend, just so Mommy can drool on a throw pillow, knowing it’ll start all over on Monday.